Am I anorexic or bulimic or goddamn retarded?

I've been in and out of depression for a while (thanks to my lovely family) and I'm guessing I'm bipolar. I'm also pretty overweight, and I've been eating 500 calories per day since a month. I make myself throw up when I go over the mark. Sometimes I think I'm doing it to lose weight, but I also secretly wish it would kill me, since I can't bring myself to end my life in any other way (I've tried a couple of times). I don't know what I'm looking for in an answer, maybe I'm just ranting.